The Sorting Hat from the Future
by AnimeFanBree
Summary: The sorting hat ends up in the past. So what is a hat to do other than sort new students based on what they'll do in the future?
1. Chapter 1

I don't own, so don't sue.

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The sorting hat didn't know how it got there, it just knew that it was there, in the past. The hat, being a hat, really had no way of using it's knowledge of the future, except by sorting certain people based on their future actions instead of what's currently in their heads. So that's what it did.

"Riddle, Tom." A small boy walked up, and the hat was placed on his head. The hat didn't bother going through his mind and sorted him right away.

"HOUSE ELF!" The hat shouted. And so Tom went to stay in the kitchens with the house elves.

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Just something I thought up in the early morning. What do you think, should the hat from the future sort more people?

Review please!


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own, so don't sue.

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It had been a few years since the hat had sorted Tom Riddle, and the boy was doing quite well as a house elf. He had found the love and acceptance that his childhood had lacked. Now it was time to sort more children who would shape to future.

"Fudge, Cornelius." The hat had barely touched the boy's head when it called out "INCOMPETENT MORON!" A small table appeared in the corner of the Great Hall, and a dunce cap appeared on Cornelius' head.

Later in the sorting a girl named "Umbridge, Dolores" was called up. The hat sat on her head for exactly ten seconds before calling out "TOAD!" A table shaped like a lily pad appeared near Cornelius' table.

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Any requests for who you want to see sorted by the future hat? Review please!


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own, so don't sue.

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"Black, Bellatrix."

"AZKABAN!" The hat then made a great show leaping of Bellatrix's head and hiding under the nearest table.

"Albus! You can't put an eleven year old in Azkaban!" McGonagall protested as Dumbledore summoned the Aurors to take Bellatrix away.

"Now, now, Minerva. The hat has been right about it's unusual sorting before. Tom found love and acceptance among the house elves, Cornelius is incompetent, and Dolores did grow up to look like a toad." Dumbledore stated in a pacifying tone.

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"Black, Sirius."

"HUFFLEPUFF!" Sirius' mouth dropped in shock. He barely made a noise as he numbly walked to the Hufflepuff table.

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"Lupin, Remus."

"HUFFLEPUFF!" Remus went and sat next to Sirius, who was still in shock.

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"Pettigrew, Peter."

"BACKSTABBING, COWARDLY LITTLE SLYTHERIN!" Peter scurried over to the Slytherin table, receiving odd looks from everyone as he went.

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"Potter, James."

"HUFFLEPUFF!" James went and sat next to Sirius and Remus. At this point, Remus had given up trying to rouse Sirius from his stupor.

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"Snape, Severus."

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

Over at the Hufflepuff table, James joined Sirius in his wide mouthed shock.

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Someone suggested that I sort Dumbledore. But I have other plans for him, and it will be funny to everyone but him. MUHAHAHA*cough* well enough of that, review please!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own a copy of the Half Blood Prince movie and nothing more.

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Harry Potter waited anxiously to be sorted into a house at Hogwarts. He was sure that he would have a great time at Hogwarts, especially since his Uncle Sev was one of the teachers. Uncle Sev, or Severus, was a good looking man with well kept hair. He was one of Hogwarts most beloved Professors and had helped to raise Harry, along with Uncle Padfoot, and Uncle Moony, after Harry's parents had been killed by the Dark Lord Wormtail.

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The sorting had begun and McGonagall was pleased that nothing unusual had happened so far. That was until she got to Smith, Zacharias.

"PRAT" called out the hat. A new table appeared by the long empty tables of the houses Toad and Incompetent Moron.

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I don't like Zacharias, he was supposed to be a Hufflepuff but he didn't show up at the final battle.

Review please.


	5. Chapter 5

**Decided** **to have the FutureHat sort my oc Bree, who some of you might be familiar with. If you're not go read Bree's Hogwarts Experience.**

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"Smith, Bree." McGonagall called. The blond in question walked up to the front and sat down on the stool. The hat was placed on her head. The hat remembered Bree quite well from the future, and while the girl had done well in Gryffindor, the school she had created would be quite important in the future and the hat needed to be sure it would still exist even with the changes it had made.

"FOUNDER!" the hat called out, much to the surprise of everybody in the room.

"Er- What?" said Dumbledore.

"Founder." The hat repeated.

"Of Hogwarts?" Dumbledore asked, wondering if this was proof that reincarnation was an actual thing.

"Of the Smith Academy of Mayhem, to be housed in Gryffindor until she can get things off the ground." The hat replied.

"Awesome!" Bree shouted from under the hat.

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One year later.

"Lovegood, Luna."

"HEADMASTER!" the hat called as soon as it was placed on Luna's head.

"Yes, what is it?" Dumbledore asked.

"No, no. Not you. Luna is going to be the future Headmaster of this school." Replied the hat.

"Wouldn't that be Headmistress?" Bree asked from her spot between the Weasley twins.

"Whatever." Said the hat.

"But," Dumbledore began to protest.

"Now, now, Albus," McGonagall interrupted. "The hat has been right about its unusual sorting before. Tom found love and acceptance among the house elves, Cornelius is incompetent, and Dolores did grow up to look like a toad. Bellatrix turned out to have a love of torturing small animals and was showing signs of becoming a serial killer. Peter Pettigrew did turn out to be a backstabber and a coward before he turned evil, so I see no reason that it shouldn't be right now."

"But she's too young!" Dumbledore protested.

"Yes, well she just needs some training." Said the hat. "Once she graduates she can take over, until then she can stay with Miss Smith in Gryffindor to help foster friendship between the schools and Smith can give her some tips on how to run a school." And it would be really amusing.

"Wouldn't I be more suited to teaching Miss Lovegood about running Hogwarts?" Dumbledore asked.

"No." the hat replied.

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**Told you I had plans for Dumbledore, it just took a little while to get to.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, guess what! My birthday is on the Twenty-fifth, I'll be twenty-one! Oh and sorry I haven't updated this story in a while. I only work on it when I need to get rid of writers block.**

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After Luna Lovegood was sorted into the position of future headmaster Dumbledore finally decided to sit down and talk to the sorting hat about its behavior. He wanted to know why the hat had started sorting people so unusually.

"Because I'm not sorting them based on who they are, I'm sorting them based on who they'll become." The hat explained.

"And how could you possibly know what they would become?" Dumbledore questioned.

"I saw the future and decided to change it the only way I knew how." The hat replied.

"And has that future been averted?" Dumbledore asked.

"In that future, Tom Riddle became the dark lord Voldemort. James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew where the best of friends in Gryffindor until Peter betrayed the Potters to Voldemort, faked his death, and framed Sirius. Sirius went to Azkaban, Harry went to the Dursley's where he was treated like one of the Malfoy's house elves. Snape became the most hated professor at Hogwarts and your spy until you had him euthanize you. People died. Hogwarts burned." The hat explained. "I only regret that I didn't obtain this knowledge the year I sorted you."

"What do you mean?" Dumbledore asked.

"You are an old fool. A manipulative old fool that believes in doing things for the "greater good" yet you never quite define that term. So I decided to get rid of you the only way I knew how. Miss Smith's school will completely turn around Britain's stale, backwards, educational system and Miss Lovegood will be open to new ideas. Working together their schools will become a part something like the muggles' Ivy League. It will be a glorious future and I'm afraid that there is simple no room for stagnation in this future. That's why I made sure the Fudge would never become Minister and Umbridge would never become Hogwarts High Inquisitor. I can't manipulate events outside of this school, but I can put everyone in position for the best outcome." The hat responded.

"And you call me manipulative?" Dumbledore said.

"Someone has to undo the damage you've inflicted on the world and compared to Voldemort, Pettigrew is just a bumbling fool. All the major players are in place. From here on out it's up to them. If you could try not to screw them all over like you did last time." The hat replied.

"But-"

"No."

"But what if-"

"No. You stay away from them."

"But they'll need- ow!"

"I told Fawkes exactly what you did last time and now if you try anything he'll bite you."

Dumbledore shot a betrayed look at the phoenix. Fawkes bit his nose.


End file.
